(Un) Coachability in Christianity

Seth Godin believes that, in today's environment, the ability to evolve and succeed is connected to how 'coachable' we are.


Seth gives a brief 'coachability' diagnostic assessment, and identifies 'symptoms of uncoachability.'  These symptoms ring true both in the professional world, and in the church. 


Some of the symptoms of uncoachability are connected with specific spiritual gifts.  Sometimes those with certain gifts are targets of rejection as coaches by those who are uncoachable; and sometimes those who are gifted are susceptible to being uncoachable in certain instances themselves.


Let's discuss Seth's uncoachability 'symptoms' in the context of spiritual gifts.


•Challenging the credentials of the coach


How many times have I been met with a finger-wagging, neck-rolling, scowl-faced "who are YOU to tell me blah blah blah...?!" when I've been called to impart direction or information, hold people accountable, or to challenge others in their thinking?  If I had a nickel...geez.  Administrators with titles, gift leaders without titles, evangelists, teachers and those with the gift of discernment are particularly subject to the 'credential challenge'.


It's easy to ignore a message when we can challenge or ignore the messenger.  A fallen minister, a woman, someone who is recently saved, or someone from another denomination...we discard messengers and the messages they carry all the time.  A lot of time, it's for the better; but sometimes, it is not.

Whether it's sharing the gospel message with friends and family who 'knew us when,' or when it's a message to the Body that comes from an unexpected source, examples of people's uncoachability and unteachability abound.  These keep us from moving upward and onward to our next levels in Christ.


If you're called, you are equipped; He has credentialed you.  Don't worry about it--keep doing what you're called to do.


•Announcing that you're being unfairly singled out -


This is an 'uncoachability' problem not only for those who refuse to take responsibility actions, but also for those who are prone to be protective of them.  Encouragers, shepherds, those gifted with servants hearts, and others who are gifted in faith, mercy, and burden-bearing are likely to be found experiencing moments of uncoachability here.


One of 'our own' falls into the latest scandal:  problems with the IRS, infidelity, drug abuse, ministry drama, etc.  We rush to defend him (but not as quickly to defend 'her), without allowing the moment to teach us what God wants us to know about where are own hearts are. 


To be more coachable, don't minimize the chastening of the Lord for our heroes and for ourselves.  Take a breath and listen to the still, small voice.  He has something to say.  And don't be defensive--cut it out.


•Pointing out, angrily, that the last few times, the coach was wrong


Those who have a prophetic gift get the brunt of the uncoachability sting here.  If a prophesy doesn't have an exact date, day of the week, and time stamp in our particular time zone, some folks make quick calls about whether or not the rhema word has come true.  We get cranky when our promised jobs, husbands, and new cars aren't delivered in our own time.  When we're bitter about the last word we got, we're apt not to listen to the next one.


If you have a 'word' you're waiting to come to pass, ask God prayerfully if the word was from Him.  If not, so be it; if so, continue to ask what you must do to see manifestation.  It's not always the prophet's fault--or the coach's!


•Identifying others who have succeeded without ever being coached


Those with the gifts of wisdom, knowledge, and discernment are among those who are least likely to fall for this fallacy.  There are some 'do-it-yourself' personality types that experience this uncoachability symptom more often than others, but gifts and personality types are not the same.


We all need coaching.  To grow and develop, we all have to take a learner's posture.


I'd love it if I could sound like Kim Burrell or Vicki Yohe whenever I wanted to open my mouth to preach or to sing.  The truth is, if God meant me to be Kim or Vicki, I'd be them.  I can't 'steal' their testimonies of success and appropriate those for myself. 


Testimonies help us to stand in faith and to overcome fear and doubt.  Every overnight success has a 5, 10 or 20 year story of hard work behind them.  We can be inspired by what God has done with and for others in our similar circumstances, but we have to realize that He has a path just for us.


Stay open to being coached into action, so that you can walk out your own callings and giftings in God's designed plan.



•Resisting a path merely because it was one identified by a coach


This is not connected to a gift...it's the manifestation of flesh, hiding behind gifts.  We are ALL on the hook for this one!

If you've ever decided that something was wrong just because so-and-so said it, you know what this is about.  If you've ever ignored a valuable suggestion because someone didn't hold a particular ministry title, or fall into a certain demographic, or demonstrate a certain set of ministry gifts, then you've been uncoachable here. 

Imagine yourself being on the other end of that out-of-hand rejection, and you'll know how wrong it is.


I'm sure that, if you're experiencing this, it's only temporary.  Why?  Because you're going to change your posture to one of coachability...right?

Just like we all lead at times and follow at other times, we all coach at times and are coached at other times. Every gifted believer gets a little bit of the uncoachability load to bear. 


My challenge to you as a coach is to prayerfully identify how you're loading up others with the burden of uncoachability, and to turn those shortcomings around for the benefit of the Body and to the glory of God!


If you'd like to strategize around become more coachable, or with addressing coachability as you serve in your gifting, sign up for a free coaching strategy session at http://www.foundationalgifts.com/free_coaching.

Time Management for Leaders

A great leader’s top action priorities are always founded on first things first. (1 Cor 9:26)

Urgent fires. Squeaky wheels. Energy drains. Long to-do lists. The days, energies and focuses of leaders are too often made of these things.

For leaders who are most successful and have the greatest impact, one of the tools they always have available to them is a process that allows them to prioritize tasks, energies and goals.

First things have certain elements in common:

1. God-ordained priorities – Leaders of faith dedicate their days, tasks and to-do lists to God on a regular basis; and organize their priorities in response to the leading they sense from Him.

2. Destiny-alignment – If a task takes you off of your destiny path even a little, it’s worth assessing whether or not that task should be shelved or delegated to another, competent, trustworthy person.

3. Genuine importance - Complaints, benign requests, drama, drudgery, mindless tasks, and leftovers from yesterday’s lists have no place on a leader’s to-do list! Instead, replace those with first things—responsibilities that advance your vision and take it to the next level.

4. Prioritizes people – Connecting with team members, supervisors, allies, partners, family members, and other important people is what continues to sustain leaders over time. ‘Busy’ work will always be there, but true leaders make sure that their relationships are primary in their work and in their lives.

Are your first things really first? If not, what single step can you take right now to realign your priorities to reflect your values, vision and passions?

Visit www.foundationalgifts.com to learn more about individual and group coaching for leaders.

Spiritual Gifts in the Holiday Season: 10 Ways to Give True Gifts

Give the gifts that keep on giving--yours! All of your spiritual gifts and practical talents are needed, appreciated and welcomed during this season.

Consider ways to maximize the use and effectiveness of your spiritual gift during this holy season.

One thing you might do is serve those in need. You can do it after Christmas or even after the new year, when the community needs are still very high.

1. Use your gift of administration or leadership (Romans 12:8) to coordinate a low-stress, high-impact service event that will help meet a particular community need (and yes, Big Picture Person, you have to attend!). The need can be practical, spiritual or both.
2. Make planning this service event a team effort, and include people gifted as helpers (1 Corinthians 12:28) as your supporters.
3. Remember to include those who are gifted in healing (1 Corinthians 12:9) and deliverance (Mark 16:17) on the planning team and as participants. Many of the community’s spiritual needs are based in experiences with different types of bondage.
4. Those with servant’s (Romans 12:7) hearts have a great opportunity to support this event. They can help create the event, invite people to participate, and to work at and after the event. Servants will work with their hands and from their hearts to meet the practical needs of community members during this cold, economically-challenged holiday season. The front-line place of servants will help make the event's impact go far beyond the event itself.

Another thing that’s needed during the holidays is to reach out to people on a personal level. Depression, suicide and drug abuse are understood to increase for some groups of people during this season.

1. If you’ve got a merciful (Romans 12:8) heart, reach out to an alienated member of your own immediate or extended family.
2. If you’re working on this reconciliation, tap in to someone who has the gift of hospitality to help smooth out the process (1 Peter 4:9-10). Their home may serve as a temporary safe haven if things get rough.
3. If you are a gifted intercessor (1 Timothy 2:1), now would be the time to partner with the merciful folks in your life who are reaching out to family. Let’s not even try to imagine the possible drama that might come about…just pray!

And, nothing says Chanukah, Christmas or Kwanzaa like gift-giving!

1. Gifted givers (Romans 12:8), this is your season! Your challenge is to give creatively (time, things you make with your hands, re-gifting, home-made coupons for babysitting, etc.) without completely depleting your financial, spiritual, mental, emotional, physical, or energy bank.
2. Seek the help of a good friend, family member, or trusted person of faith who is gifted in living with simplicity (1 Corinthians 13:3; Acts 2:44-45) to help you keep within your bank-spending limits without curbing your enthusiasm.

Lastly, whatever you do this season, make sure that people with a gift of faith (1 Corinthians 12:9, Hebrews 11:1) are on board. Their unique willingness and ability to discern, pray, work hard to accomplish tasks, and inspire others to do the same is a gift that is always in season.

One clue to our gift lies in our names

I've always been proud of the meaning of my name. 'Nicole' is often thought to be a French name, but it's not. It's a Greek name, and it means 'Victory of the People.' Pretty fitting for someone like me, whose life purpose is to help people to live victorious lives!

This weekend, I attended the Pennsylvania-Delaware District of the Assemblies of God Women of Purpose Conference. The speakers were all so knowledgeable, talented, funny, and powerful!

District Director Ruth Puleo taught out of Numbers 27. She discussed the concept of daughters and our legitimate inheritance. She gave a description of the meaning of each of the names of the daughters of Zelophehad, and discussed their possible spiritual gift. Wow! That was right up my alley!

I wasn't taking notes--I admit it!--but here is my own effort at the meanings of each of these daughters' names and their possible spiritual gifts:

1. Mahlah: One who plays the harp for people who are sick ~ gift of healing
   
2. Noah: Someone who is always in motion; the life of the party (interestingly, the name Noah for a boy means 'rest'. Hummmmmm.....) ~ gifts of service
   
3. Hoglah: Dancer ~worshipper with the gift of faith
   
4. Milcah: Queen, the person in charge ~ gift of administration/leadership
   
5. Tizrah: Positively giving ~ gift of giving
   

Primary gifts 'stick out,' but secondary gifts are evident as well. For example, based on their names, both Mahlah and Tizrah are likely to have been gifted in the area of showing mercy.

In reading the commentary on this passage, I learned that the way the Biblical authors referenced this daughter-set in three other passages of Scripture shows that their status and rank within their family was equal with one another. Our consideration of our gifts should be the same. No gift is more important than the other because they are all useful, unique and essential to kingdom-building and people-serving.

Coaches Question: Are YOU walking out the powerful meaning of your name, today?