(Un) Coachability in Christianity

Seth Godin believes that, in today's environment, the ability to evolve and succeed is connected to how 'coachable' we are.


Seth gives a brief 'coachability' diagnostic assessment, and identifies 'symptoms of uncoachability.'  These symptoms ring true both in the professional world, and in the church. 


Some of the symptoms of uncoachability are connected with specific spiritual gifts.  Sometimes those with certain gifts are targets of rejection as coaches by those who are uncoachable; and sometimes those who are gifted are susceptible to being uncoachable in certain instances themselves.


Let's discuss Seth's uncoachability 'symptoms' in the context of spiritual gifts.


•Challenging the credentials of the coach


How many times have I been met with a finger-wagging, neck-rolling, scowl-faced "who are YOU to tell me blah blah blah...?!" when I've been called to impart direction or information, hold people accountable, or to challenge others in their thinking?  If I had a nickel...geez.  Administrators with titles, gift leaders without titles, evangelists, teachers and those with the gift of discernment are particularly subject to the 'credential challenge'.


It's easy to ignore a message when we can challenge or ignore the messenger.  A fallen minister, a woman, someone who is recently saved, or someone from another denomination...we discard messengers and the messages they carry all the time.  A lot of time, it's for the better; but sometimes, it is not.

Whether it's sharing the gospel message with friends and family who 'knew us when,' or when it's a message to the Body that comes from an unexpected source, examples of people's uncoachability and unteachability abound.  These keep us from moving upward and onward to our next levels in Christ.


If you're called, you are equipped; He has credentialed you.  Don't worry about it--keep doing what you're called to do.


•Announcing that you're being unfairly singled out -


This is an 'uncoachability' problem not only for those who refuse to take responsibility actions, but also for those who are prone to be protective of them.  Encouragers, shepherds, those gifted with servants hearts, and others who are gifted in faith, mercy, and burden-bearing are likely to be found experiencing moments of uncoachability here.


One of 'our own' falls into the latest scandal:  problems with the IRS, infidelity, drug abuse, ministry drama, etc.  We rush to defend him (but not as quickly to defend 'her), without allowing the moment to teach us what God wants us to know about where are own hearts are. 


To be more coachable, don't minimize the chastening of the Lord for our heroes and for ourselves.  Take a breath and listen to the still, small voice.  He has something to say.  And don't be defensive--cut it out.


•Pointing out, angrily, that the last few times, the coach was wrong


Those who have a prophetic gift get the brunt of the uncoachability sting here.  If a prophesy doesn't have an exact date, day of the week, and time stamp in our particular time zone, some folks make quick calls about whether or not the rhema word has come true.  We get cranky when our promised jobs, husbands, and new cars aren't delivered in our own time.  When we're bitter about the last word we got, we're apt not to listen to the next one.


If you have a 'word' you're waiting to come to pass, ask God prayerfully if the word was from Him.  If not, so be it; if so, continue to ask what you must do to see manifestation.  It's not always the prophet's fault--or the coach's!


•Identifying others who have succeeded without ever being coached


Those with the gifts of wisdom, knowledge, and discernment are among those who are least likely to fall for this fallacy.  There are some 'do-it-yourself' personality types that experience this uncoachability symptom more often than others, but gifts and personality types are not the same.


We all need coaching.  To grow and develop, we all have to take a learner's posture.


I'd love it if I could sound like Kim Burrell or Vicki Yohe whenever I wanted to open my mouth to preach or to sing.  The truth is, if God meant me to be Kim or Vicki, I'd be them.  I can't 'steal' their testimonies of success and appropriate those for myself. 


Testimonies help us to stand in faith and to overcome fear and doubt.  Every overnight success has a 5, 10 or 20 year story of hard work behind them.  We can be inspired by what God has done with and for others in our similar circumstances, but we have to realize that He has a path just for us.


Stay open to being coached into action, so that you can walk out your own callings and giftings in God's designed plan.



•Resisting a path merely because it was one identified by a coach


This is not connected to a gift...it's the manifestation of flesh, hiding behind gifts.  We are ALL on the hook for this one!

If you've ever decided that something was wrong just because so-and-so said it, you know what this is about.  If you've ever ignored a valuable suggestion because someone didn't hold a particular ministry title, or fall into a certain demographic, or demonstrate a certain set of ministry gifts, then you've been uncoachable here. 

Imagine yourself being on the other end of that out-of-hand rejection, and you'll know how wrong it is.


I'm sure that, if you're experiencing this, it's only temporary.  Why?  Because you're going to change your posture to one of coachability...right?

Just like we all lead at times and follow at other times, we all coach at times and are coached at other times. Every gifted believer gets a little bit of the uncoachability load to bear. 


My challenge to you as a coach is to prayerfully identify how you're loading up others with the burden of uncoachability, and to turn those shortcomings around for the benefit of the Body and to the glory of God!


If you'd like to strategize around become more coachable, or with addressing coachability as you serve in your gifting, sign up for a free coaching strategy session at http://www.foundationalgifts.com/free_coaching.

Gifted...Today?

Are ALL of the Bible's spiritual gifts alive, well, and available for use in the body of Christ today?

If you are reading this blog, chances are that you believe that the answer is YES. I certainly do!

There are other folks in the body of Christ who would say NO. Instead, they believe that the more practical or service-oriented gifts are operational today, but that the more "spiritual" or "miraculous" gifts are not. Some spiritual gifts that would pass the "today's test" here would include pastoring, teaching, giving, serving and exhortation. Some gifts that would be found on this group of believers' retirement list would include prophecy, speaking in tongues, supernatural healing, miracles, dream interpretation and any gift that can be remotely described as "spooky."

Why is there disagreement in the church over this issue? For the same reason that there is disagreement over most every other issue.

Some of the more "natural" reasons that might spring up as an explanation for this disagreement include a history of splits in the church, denominational perspectives, faith issues, personal preference, lack of Biblical education, etc. All true, but these are symptoms of a larger issue.

From my humble perspective, the disagreement over the spiritual gifts is rooted in a more spiritual explanation: as long as the Body is at odds with itself, it will not unify; and as long as the Body is unfamiliar with its own powers and how to use them, it will remain somewhat ineffective. That is as true of our natural bodies as it is of our spiritual Body.

I do believe that the issue of spiritual gifts is an essential one (as opposed to a non-essential one), and I hope over time, the church can agree. [See Ephesians 4:3, 13 and the quote often attributed to St. Augustine in the link above regarding essentials.]

It is my prayer and hope that we can not only come to agreement, but I specifically pray that the body will become aware of its full power and giftedness, and use it in unity to advance the kingdom and cause of our Lord Jesus Christ throughout the earth.

So, what do YOU think? If you believe that all of the spiritual gifts are operational today, how are you using yours?

Whose Gifted Idea Was This?

Central Assembly of God Church in Superior, Wisconsin read the Bible aloud for 72 consecutive hours over the new year. As someone who desires to draw closer to God through His word, the story was inspiring to me.

I also wondered...whose gifted idea was this?

1. If we could measure the faith (Romans 12:3) of the congregation, what would it look like? Fewer than 66 people took part in the reading, which meant that some readers had to deliver the verbal equivalent of 2-3 books of the Bible. What did it take to stand and read aloud at, say, 3:37 a.m. when the guy in the front row may have been not only snoring but stretched out across the pew?
2. How beautifully did the body parts function together (Romans 12:4) for this event? The whole community was invited, and people served as hosts throughout the nights and days. Who answered the phones? Were there refreshments? Did people offer prayer as needed? How about the men and women who served hospitality and temple-keeping with things like making sure the microphones worked, the speakers had water, the heat/lights were on and the rest rooms were stocked with essentials? This was not a reader-only show. Those with a heart to truly serve others (Romans 12:7) were in high demand, such as the man who served as a greeter on the midnight shift for seven hours straight. God bless him!
3. Did these body parts get along (Romans 12:5) throughout the event? How many times did someone snap at someone else because they were tired of sitting, talking, reading, listening, going without snacks, showing up 3 days in a row for church, etc.? Did people get delirious after a few chapters and start reading out of order? Did someone read someone else's passages? Or, was everyone able to stay knit together as they were fashioned and keep flesh out of the process? (Me--I'm prone to crankiness after 9pm...)
4. I'm thinking of different Bible passages, and I'm wondering whether or not the gift of the reader impacted the delivery of the passage. Gifts of prophesy, teaching and exhortation (Romans 12:6-8) are speaking gifts, and lend themselves well to an assignment like this (IF the gifted ones can stay focused!).
5. I think of how many opportunities to smile, praise, sit/stand in awe, and weep there were when it was all complete. Praise the Lord!
6. The events that look the simplest can sometimes be the most difficult to plan and implement. I'm sure that those who have a heart for giving financially and who are merciful toward people in need were hard at work behind the scenes in the planning stages, working shoulder to shoulder with the ones who have leadership gifts (Romans 12:8)

So, whose gifted idea was it? Among people, it doesn't matter. What does matter is that someone had a heart to hear what the Creator had to say about sharing His word, and followed through on the plan (Proverbs 16:9). It's inspiring to see such a powerful display of spiritual gifts in action!

Fearfully and Wonderfully Made!

I had a brief but profound breakdown yesterday; and a clear revelation on an area that needs work today.

I am one of a few people whose MS Office updates threaten to wipe out my entire hard drive, including the installation of MS Office itself. I've had two such wipeouts: the second occurred yesterday.

I completely freaked out. I was overwhelmed because my cell phone acts the same way--it shuts down and malfunctions without warning. Am I in some kind of electromagnetic field that I don't see that attacks my technology?

I went to my only Source for help.

In my office in complete darkness, I cried out to God. Why was this happening? What He dismantling my business in one fell swoop? Was I on the wrong track in terms of my calling?

I whined and whimpered to my husband. On that computer was three years worth of work. I can't rebuild it. What do I do now?

Deep in my spirit was the question, Where is my worth now? I'm not a coach if I don't have a business. I'm not a teacher if all my material is wiped out. I don't have a 'job,' I can't keep house and I can't cook. What good am I?

Yowza.

I turned my computer off and went to sleep. I hoped things would be better in the morning.

They were.

First, I got to see the early part of the sun rise. It is breathtaking to me every time I see the light in the sky change with hope and promise for a better day.

Second, my computer restored itself. Everything is in its rightful place. Some people call it magic, but I call it the mercy and favor of God. I knew a lesson was coming.

Third, I read the attached meditation from Laity Lodge. I was reminded that even though the sunrise is breathtaking, and God's demonstration of His love and mercy in our everyday lives is awe-inspiring, God still sees ME as His most treasured creation.

While I may only see value in myself for what I can DO, He sees value in me simply for what I AM: His beautiful creation, His mirror reflection, His beloved.

He feels that way about YOU, too!

As we seek God to learn more about our spiritual gifts, talents, callings, skills, positions, etc., let's help each other remember that none of that in itself is our value when it comes to our God. Our challenge is to extend the love of Christ not only to others, but to ourselves as well.

Spiritual Gifts in the Holiday Season: 10 Ways to Give True Gifts

Give the gifts that keep on giving--yours! All of your spiritual gifts and practical talents are needed, appreciated and welcomed during this season.

Consider ways to maximize the use and effectiveness of your spiritual gift during this holy season.

One thing you might do is serve those in need. You can do it after Christmas or even after the new year, when the community needs are still very high.

1. Use your gift of administration or leadership (Romans 12:8) to coordinate a low-stress, high-impact service event that will help meet a particular community need (and yes, Big Picture Person, you have to attend!). The need can be practical, spiritual or both.
2. Make planning this service event a team effort, and include people gifted as helpers (1 Corinthians 12:28) as your supporters.
3. Remember to include those who are gifted in healing (1 Corinthians 12:9) and deliverance (Mark 16:17) on the planning team and as participants. Many of the community’s spiritual needs are based in experiences with different types of bondage.
4. Those with servant’s (Romans 12:7) hearts have a great opportunity to support this event. They can help create the event, invite people to participate, and to work at and after the event. Servants will work with their hands and from their hearts to meet the practical needs of community members during this cold, economically-challenged holiday season. The front-line place of servants will help make the event's impact go far beyond the event itself.

Another thing that’s needed during the holidays is to reach out to people on a personal level. Depression, suicide and drug abuse are understood to increase for some groups of people during this season.

1. If you’ve got a merciful (Romans 12:8) heart, reach out to an alienated member of your own immediate or extended family.
2. If you’re working on this reconciliation, tap in to someone who has the gift of hospitality to help smooth out the process (1 Peter 4:9-10). Their home may serve as a temporary safe haven if things get rough.
3. If you are a gifted intercessor (1 Timothy 2:1), now would be the time to partner with the merciful folks in your life who are reaching out to family. Let’s not even try to imagine the possible drama that might come about…just pray!

And, nothing says Chanukah, Christmas or Kwanzaa like gift-giving!

1. Gifted givers (Romans 12:8), this is your season! Your challenge is to give creatively (time, things you make with your hands, re-gifting, home-made coupons for babysitting, etc.) without completely depleting your financial, spiritual, mental, emotional, physical, or energy bank.
2. Seek the help of a good friend, family member, or trusted person of faith who is gifted in living with simplicity (1 Corinthians 13:3; Acts 2:44-45) to help you keep within your bank-spending limits without curbing your enthusiasm.

Lastly, whatever you do this season, make sure that people with a gift of faith (1 Corinthians 12:9, Hebrews 11:1) are on board. Their unique willingness and ability to discern, pray, work hard to accomplish tasks, and inspire others to do the same is a gift that is always in season.

You've Got It All!

I'm not at all big on obligatory gifts. Birthdays, anniversaries, holidays--none of that. Even as we approach the holiday season and everyone is cramming the malls searching for sales, I'm not shopping. That's just me. My thought is, what in the world can I get my relative/friend/mailcarrier/hairdresser/dog groomer that she/he doesn't already have?

Rather than calling it laziness, being cheap, or a lack of creativity, let's just say that I have the mind of Christ on this one: I believe that everyone has everything they need.

As individuals and as a church, we really do have every spiritual gift we need. We may not have everything we WANT, but we do have all that we need. There's no use waiting around to have gigantic or special gifts bestowed on us, because we already have them. God has placed His gifts to us right where we can find and use them, for His glory and for our benefit.

We've established that, if you have a gift, it's definitely not from me :). But you do have gifts, lots of them, from our Creator. What are they? Where are they? How are you using them? How are they working with the gifts of others?

To find out more about your particular set of gifts, talents, and characteristics, sign up for the INSIGHT 12-week coaching series. For more information, visit http://www.foundationalgifts.com/services.

Pry Open Your Gifts, Now!

In [H]is grace, God has given us different gifts for doing certain things well. ~ Romans 12:6a

As we're approaching the gift-giving season, we often think of which types of gifts we should give to our friends, colleagues and loved ones. Each person is unique, and each would appreciate and use specific gifts differently. I'm sure that my daughter would rather have gifts created or purchased specifically with her in mind, rather than sharing in a gift I purchase for my husband...or for my dog!

God is the same way. He created each of us in His image, yet we are all unique. He has a set of spiritual gifts that He has given to the Body of Christ, yet these gifts are all unique and specific to each individual.

Pry open the wrapping of the beautiful gift that God has given you, and check it out! You don't have to wait until Christmas--do it now.

COACH'S QUESTIONS:

1) How is your gift 'wrapped'? What type of package is it in? In the natural realm, some gifts are wrapped so beautifully that we don't want to tear the packaging to see what's inside! God may have wrapped your gift beautifully, but the gift itself is a treasure. Don't be afraid to take some time to examine and appreciate the exterior, but don't drag your feet getting to the good stuff inside.

2) What 'certain things' do you do well? I don't cook regularly, but I am learning from trying that I do follow instructions in a recipe well. (That doesn't mean that the dish always turns out like I planned, but hey, it's a process!) During this holy day season, I think of all the talents and gifts on display. There are some fabulous cooks who don't need a recipe, some decorators who create beautiful ambiance for celebrations, talented budgetistas who stretch a dollar to extend the blessings, servants who don't mind running errands for last-minute items or cleaning up...the list goes on. Where do your talents and giftings fit in? Thank God for those, because they are appreciated, especially by those who don't have those gifts or talents.

3) What 'different gift' do you have, or what makes your gifting 'different'? Curling irons and flat irons may look a lot alike and be utilized similarly, but the results are totally different. Our gift may be named and operate similarly to those of other people, but our results will be different based on the purposes to which the Lord has called each of us. Where do you see difference or uniqueness with your gift(s)?

4) Where can you see His grace in your gifts? What are you talented to do, but only gifted in His grace? I recently had to audition for my church's choir and praise team. I'm a decent singer, but it was ONLY by His grace that I didn't sound like clanging cymbals or a rusty gate that day (1 Cor 13:1)! Here's hoping and praying His grace on some of these Thanksgiving recipes.

Remember also that we're called according to His purposes (Romans 8:28), and not our own. How will you use your unique set of gifts, talents and abilities this season to bless others and to reflect His light in this world?

Talented vs. Gifted

Most Bible teachers will share that there is a clear difference between our natural talents, strengths, and abilities on the one hand; and our God-given spiritual endowments on the other. I agree 100%, AND I know that our natural talents are nothing without God-breathed power added to them.

My church's worship ministry is NOT talent-based. That does not mean that there is no talent there--it is, and tons of it! Everyone in the ministry has a strong ability to sing, and to sing beautifully! The instrumentalists are absolutely unparalleled in their abilities. Even with all that talent, the sound is only tremendous because HE shows up, to support and assist humble hearts and true worshippers who are offering their natural talents as gifts to the Body.


Take God away from those talents, and nothing is the same. It may sound just terrific to the natural ear, but the spiritual connection to the Creator and the ability to draw people into His presence would not be there. It would be a good show, but everyone would be spectators and not participants.


As I teach and coach people around their spiritual gifts, I clearly see the Lord's hand on everything. In reality, nothing belongs to us; it all belongs to Him.


In honoring God, let's not only to dedicate the use of our spiritual gifts to Him in the church, but to submit our natural talents and abilities for His glory and for the edification of others in 'the mission field' as well.

One clue to our gift lies in our names

I've always been proud of the meaning of my name. 'Nicole' is often thought to be a French name, but it's not. It's a Greek name, and it means 'Victory of the People.' Pretty fitting for someone like me, whose life purpose is to help people to live victorious lives!

This weekend, I attended the Pennsylvania-Delaware District of the Assemblies of God Women of Purpose Conference. The speakers were all so knowledgeable, talented, funny, and powerful!

District Director Ruth Puleo taught out of Numbers 27. She discussed the concept of daughters and our legitimate inheritance. She gave a description of the meaning of each of the names of the daughters of Zelophehad, and discussed their possible spiritual gift. Wow! That was right up my alley!

I wasn't taking notes--I admit it!--but here is my own effort at the meanings of each of these daughters' names and their possible spiritual gifts:

1. Mahlah: One who plays the harp for people who are sick ~ gift of healing
   
2. Noah: Someone who is always in motion; the life of the party (interestingly, the name Noah for a boy means 'rest'. Hummmmmm.....) ~ gifts of service
   
3. Hoglah: Dancer ~worshipper with the gift of faith
   
4. Milcah: Queen, the person in charge ~ gift of administration/leadership
   
5. Tizrah: Positively giving ~ gift of giving
   

Primary gifts 'stick out,' but secondary gifts are evident as well. For example, based on their names, both Mahlah and Tizrah are likely to have been gifted in the area of showing mercy.

In reading the commentary on this passage, I learned that the way the Biblical authors referenced this daughter-set in three other passages of Scripture shows that their status and rank within their family was equal with one another. Our consideration of our gifts should be the same. No gift is more important than the other because they are all useful, unique and essential to kingdom-building and people-serving.

Coaches Question: Are YOU walking out the powerful meaning of your name, today?

Musings on gifts

"Our heavenly Father is a loving and personal God, Who wants us to have the best and be the best. For these very reasons, He has blessed the Body of Christ with spiritual gifts." ~ Bible teacher, minister and author Marilyn Hickey

My mom knows me well. She knows that I don't cook. She never raised me to cook. I never cooked. I don't like cooking. I don't want to talk about cooking. Regardless of these absolute facts, she gifted me with a slow cooker three years ago. THREE YEARS ago. Every...single...time I speak with her since then, she wants to know if I've used that thing.

Mom knows best. She doesn't care that I lived in 90 degree weather year-round when she gave me the cooker: she wants her grandkid to have home cooked meals, and she wants me to cook them...in that slow cooker.

Mom's gift is useful, so I'm expected to use it. She checks in with me to remind me that I have the gift that she gave me, and that life will be much better for me and for my loved ones if I would just put my gift to use.

The thought that God loves us in a personal way is a powerful one. The thought that He provides us with gifts--gifts to receive AND gifts to give to others in service--is overwhelming to me, in a positive way.

If someone has a cool gift for me, I want it! I want to see it, handle it, ooh and ahh at it, and show it off to other people. I want others to hold it and look at it and ooh and ahh with me. If it's a useful gift, I want to share its use with others. Even if it's something that I would not necessarily have chosen for myself, the fact that someone thought enough of me to gift me is humbling. It makes me smile, and makes me want to give back to them. It also makes me want to gift others, and to experience their positive responses as well.

How much more true should this be for our gifts from God? He wants us to savor His gifts to us, share them, be inspired by them, and see them as a loving example of His kindness, thoughts and provisions toward us, our families, our communities, and toward the Body of Christ.

We are also to put our gifts to good, appropriate use, as instructed by our Giver.

My mom's gift to me has been terrific! After a few years with the foreign cooking apparatus in the cupboard of my kitchen, our living environment and circumstances changed. We moved into a colder climate, and I changed from off-site work to having a home-based office. It is important that I cook more at home, and that I make warm meals that stick to the ribs. Her gift was given in preparation for what I might need in the future; and has more uses than I understood when I first received it. Humbling, indeed!

Ref: Matthew 7:11